Chapter 13 - LOUISE FINALLY ASKED TO SEE MATTHEW
-13
Louise was twenty when she asked.
“Can I visit Uncle Matthew?”
I nearly dropped coffee.
“Why?”
“I want to hear him say it.”
“What?”
“That he caused Dad’s crash.”
“He admitted.”
“On paper.”
She wanted face.
I did not like.
But adult.
“Your decision.”
She asked if I would come.
I said yes.
Prison visitation.
Matthew older.
Gray.
Thin.
When he saw Louise, he broke.
“Lou.”
She did not hug.
“Hi.”
We sat.
He stared.
“You look like Daniel.”
She hated phrase.
“Everyone says.”
Then:
“I have questions.”
“Anything.”
“Did you know I heard you arguing?”
He looked shocked.
“No.”
“The garage.”
She recounted.
He remembered.
“Did you know Dad made tablet for Mom?”
“No.”
“Did you know I had?”
“Not until plane.”
Then:
“Were you the one who sent Evelyn?”
He looked.
“I told her tablet missing. She decided travel.”
“Did you know?”
“She said she’d talk to Emma if chance.”
Lie by omission.
“Did you tell her to take?”
“No.”
Probably.
Then main:
“Did you kill my dad?”
Matthew cried.
I held breath.
“I caused his death.”
Specific.
“Did you want him dead?”
“No.”
“I wanted him afraid.”
“Why?”
“Because I thought fear would make him stop.”
Louise stared.
“Did you know car was dangerous?”
“I knew it had been interfered with. I told myself Paul knew what he was doing and Daniel would notice before anything serious.”
“Dad did notice light.”
“Yes.”
“You lied.”
“Yes.”
“Why not tell him?”
“Because then he’d know I did it.”
There.
Self-protection outweighed.
“So you let him drive.”
“Yes.”
Louise cried silently.
Matthew:
“I’m sorry.”
She said:
“I don't forgive.”
He nodded.
“You don’t need.”
Then:
“Did you love him?”
“Yes.”
“Then why does everyone keep saying that like it matters?”
Powerful.
Matthew stopped.
“I don’t know.”
Louise:
“Love didn’t make him alive.”
“No.”
Then:
“Do you think Dad loved you?”
“Yes.”
“Then you both loved and one still hurt.”
“Yes.”
She leaned back.
Then:
“I wanted to hate you.”
“You can.”
“No.”
He looked.
“I hate what you did.”
Different.
“I don’t want carry you around.”
Matthew cried.
“That sounds like your mom.”
Louise rolled eyes.
“Don’t compliment me.”
I almost laughed.
Then she asked:
“Why steal from Grandma?”
He explained rationalization.
Family office fees.
She cut:
“So money.”
“Yes.”
“Why steal from widows?”
“Money and entitlement.”
Good.
No corporate language.
Then:
“Do you think prison fixed?”
“No.”
“What did?”
He thought.
“Nothing fixes. I changed because I had no more stories left that made me innocent.”
That was strong.
Louise nodded.
Then:
“I’m done.”
We stood.
Matthew asked:
“Can I hug?”
She said no.
He accepted.
At door, she turned.
“Maybe another time.”
Hope not promise.
Outside, Louise cried in parking.
“Was that stupid?”
“No.”
“I thought I’d feel something.”
“What?”
“Closure.”
I laughed sadly.
“Closure is marketing.”
She laughed through tears.
Then:
“I believe him.”
“That he didn’t intend?”
“Yes.”
“And?”
“I’m still mad.”
Okay.
Then she said:
“Dad was brave and stupid.”
“Yes.”
“Matthew was scared and dangerous.”
“Yes.”
“Evelyn was greedy and cruel.”
“Yes.”
“Grandpa George started.”
“Yes.”
“Why adults complicated?”
Same as many stories.
I shrugged.
Then lunch.
Normal.
She later wrote Matthew once.
No regular.
At age twenty-three, she hugged him during visit when parole hearing approaching.
Not because forgive all.
Relationship limited.
Matthew eventually paroled after serving around 14 years due credits? Sentence 18. He was older.
Conditions.
No finance work.
No contact victims unless.
He moved small apartment.
He did not manage Susan, dead.
He worked warehouse inventory.
Funny.
He could see numbers without controlling others.
He asked to attend family memorial? We had no regular.
I allowed if children want.
No house access initially.
No money.
He never asked.
Then Noah, fourteen, chose not to see.
“Why?”
“I don’t know him.”
Valid.
Blood no entitlement.
Matthew accepted.
Then Louise college graduation.
She invited him?
No.
Too big.
Maybe sent photo.
Good.
Then Emma's life maybe dating? We have not given romance. It's fine. She could remain single but not lonely. She had a partner later? User doesn't require. Could add in final perhaps a man named Ben? But no need. Focus family.
Then I realized my husband's death had not frozen me.
At forty-something, I took pottery.
Bad.
Mom teased.
I traveled.
No remarriage maybe.
May you like
I was content.
That's compelling enough.
